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March 1, 2023

Finding Vibrancy In Daily Life As A Tool To Flourish At Being You!

Finding Vibrancy In Daily Life As A Tool To Flourish At Being You!

Today we are going to talk about:  Finding vibrancy in daily life as a tool to flourish at being you and also the importance of listening to ourselves and our feelings. Please welcome Today:  Rachel Awes!  Rachel is a psychologist, illustrated self-help author, art playgroundist, and clothing ambassador, who loves listening to the beauty in people.  Rachel is the author of:  Relationship Book: A Soulful, Transformational, and Artistic Inventory of Your Connective Life.

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Unknown Speaker  0:00  
We are in the last few episodes of season 12. And we're going to work through that kind of inspiration of trying to cement our habits and ideas and deeper levels of self acceptance as well along the way, which is always a good thing. And here's a fact that I've been reading out the beginning of each podcast since beginning of the year, and that is on a nine to 12% of people keep their New Year's resolutions. My question to you is, have you kept your New Year's resolution? Or has it all in a way already? And if so, are you being compassionate about that? And is it the the resolution that was right for you? If you go to the action There is a place where you can leave a voicemail so if you've got a question or you want submit me to cover, then please leave a message on them and I can play your question online and do a special podcast that is geared towards that. Okay, so I'm just getting warmed up. Now we've got an amazing guest Rachel oz who is coming on the show. So Rachel, ours is a psychologist illustrated self help offer. Art playground is and clothing ambassador who lives listening to the beauty in people and what thing to love listening to. Rachel is the author of relationship book a soulful, transformational and artistic inventory of your connected life. To quote from Rachel's website, our world needs the presents an authentic you. Maybe that is the real substance of fantasy, the true drizzle, the place where light breaks free, Rachel ours. So without further ado, please welcome Rachel off to the show. Thank you. It's great to be here, Jane. Oh, it's great to have you on the show. And Rachel, just for our listeners, because we've got an international audience. Whereabouts in the world. Are you joining us from today?

Unknown Speaker  2:02  
Yes, from the United States in the state of Minnesota.

Unknown Speaker  2:07  
Wow, wow. And I understand it's quite early there since about eight o'clock in the morning. So thank

Unknown Speaker  2:12  
you, Clark, and snowing. Fantastic.

Unknown Speaker  2:15  
So I'm the reason I invited you on the show today. ritualism. I would like to talk about finding vibrancy in daily life as a tool to flourish at Bing you. And I thought who better to speak to us a day, yourself. But having looked at your work is such vibrancy and life in everything that you do. So that's why I really liked you to be a guest on the show last day. So before we kind of get into that, I just wondered if you might explain a bit about your journey and your inspiration in life.

Unknown Speaker  2:49  
Absolutely happy to my journey began in the wisdom of a little girl who knew what she loved who knew to follow what brought joy, what felt like her without double sort of guessing, as most of us do begin that way. And so I believe that into my adulthood, it's been a journey back to her wisdom, so that the clothing I choose, it has that same freedom that a little girl who would have, you know, if I want to wear two different colour socks or you know, wearing vibrant stuff, it's fine if people see it. I want it to be comfortable on my body. I want it to feel uplifting to me and happy to me. And also paying attention to all aspects like what are the relationships that are kind that are gentle, that are mighty, that are loving? What are the foods that feel good in my body? Just noticing daily life, the little and big things? Of course the little things are the big things that do bring about vibrancy, joy and contentment.

Unknown Speaker  4:13  
Hmm, yeah, it's kind of what I understand it seeing the beauty and the life and everything and you know, sometimes we can get so caught up with being somewhere else in the future or what we're supposed to be rather than kind of enjoying the beauty of like what's around now, how can feeling vibrant and colourful helped cultivate authenticity?

Unknown Speaker  4:36  
Ah, well, I think that when we select colour and vibrancy that almost like the word vibrancy is similar to vibration, isn't it? It comes as a derivative of that in our vibration is, I think something of our essence, that even when we chant letters A E I, O you and listeners can try this a, and you can feel the vibration going through your throat and through your chest, you can put your hand on your chest as you do it, or there's a vibration going through. And that's authentic, that's running through the centre of your being. So I think that as we choose vibrancy, we're tuning into our vibration to our centre to showing our insides on the outsides of us. If we do it with truly not being concerned of, well, what would others think of this choice? But knowing does this feel good to the centre of my being? Does this feel joyful? Does this feel peaceful? Does this feel soft, which will be different for everyone? So for example, I have a friend named Penny Penelope Janine Fisher, while she gave herself that name when she was little. And she likes to wear a lot of greys and neutrals, and that makes her happy. And I tend to like to wear brighter colours. And that makes me happy. And so what it is, is celebrating each other's authentic choices. And so I think that's where it all lies.

Unknown Speaker  6:32  
Like, Yeah, cuz I might have a different thing that kind of brings them alive. And like you said, some people might like, paler colours, and some people might think is more vibrant. Yeah. So to add a little bit more to that if in or sometimes it kind of, especially at this time of year, maybe for some people, they start to get a bit bored, or there's a kind of a lack a lack of magic, sometimes, you know, on the kind of daily life can get a bit the same etc. Would you give to someone to kind of bring some vibrancy back, just to think simple that they could do to bring some vibrancy and life back into their daily world?

Unknown Speaker  7:13  
The first thing I first thought I had about that was to rest, which sounds like an opposite answer to what you're asking. Because when we're tired, it's difficult to authentically be vibrant. You know what I'm saying? And so I think the first thing to being vibrant is almost the paradox of rest. So that out of that place of being more restful, I think that inspiration can begin to spring, I don't know about you, but sometimes if I feel flat or a little down or certainly tired. And then I can get truly rested. Whatever brings me that I have a wellspring inside me that I can turn to. And she knows inside, how to bring me joy. You know what I'm saying? But I feel like they need some lifeforce energy to go there. I will say. So that's part one. And that feels like a foundational answer. And you can hear my main thing that I do in my life is I'm a psychologist, and you can probably hear a little bit of that coming through. In my newest book, one of the things one of the page spreads that I talk about, and I'll mention it here, it's in a secondary way to the foundation of rest. Which is maybe a fun thing to think about, is that when we're down or you know, or things are feeling stuck, that sometimes our regular routines, don't always speak to us, or bring us out of that. And so it can be so helpful to create what I call wild and beautiful experiences. So for example, go on a hot air balloon ride at sunset, go to the zoo, and say a purring prayer to the tiger, show up at a friend's door and sing to them. You get the idea. You could just start a new list on the top of the notepad saying wild and beautiful experiences and just brainstorm a whole page worth and see what flows out of you.

Unknown Speaker  9:37  
Hmm, I like that a lot. This is all these different kinds of ideas that we can do. And I would just like to add if you kind of feel a bit fearful about trying these things, I was watching your YouTube channel earlier Rachel I really liked what you said that fear is excitement without the breath and I just I was just like wow when I heard that I just got so Oh true is this you know, um, so to add, I would say that if any of our listeners are feeling that I want to try this, but I feel a little bit scattered.

Unknown Speaker  10:12  
Breathe, breathe, and that in a way goes back to the foundation of resting, right breathes, let your body be rested. And out of that place, some courage may arise. The other, the other courage thing that I just love to think about is that courage is also having our arms open wide was shaky knees. And so that to do something courageous, that it's okay to have shaky knees, that that's part of the deal. That's what makes your steps courageous. That's what makes having your arms open. So admirable.

Unknown Speaker  10:59  
Yeah, to try to is like, going for things doesn't mean you're going to have the absence of fear is kind of, in fact, we can get too comfortable sometimes. And I think that's when life can feel a bit lacking and vibrancy as well, because we're not, we're not trying these, these new things. So as you were talking about rest, I say that self care falls into that kind of category, because that is a form of rest. What would you suggest is a way to kind of wring that self care into one's life to help us feel better, etc?

Unknown Speaker  11:39  
Yes, I love that you're tying the term self care to that because I think you're so right on. I think things that could be restful, in the in the realm of self care, self care, could be anything as basic as we're mentioning, basic yet profound, as being mindful and being with your breath, it's the most low hanging fruit we have access to, which is such a gift. And another thing, which I mentioned just a few minutes ago, if you're if you're inclined to sing, or to this kind of thing is chanting a long gating vowel sounds actually really calms the body, just with any vowel or a combination of them. I remember learning that, and being in a traffic jam, I was alone in my car. And I thought, Oh, I just remembered that chanting, supposed to be really calming, and I'm alone in my car, whatever. And so I was like, with my hands on the wheel stuck in traffic, chanting away in my car. And it felt empowering, because they thought, I know, research shows this is helpful. And so it's like, oh, my gosh, I have this tool available to me now. I think that, you know, sometimes doing resets can be helpful. So for example, alternating hot and cold sensations can really help to reset the body to be in a more centred better feeling place. So for example, when you're in the shower, to alternate for a little bit, having a little cold, or water. And then after a little bit, put it harder, obviously, to a comfortable level for you. And just go back and forth a couple times. Or maybe it's just your beverages, having you know, the warm cup in your hand. And then, you know, alternate that to an A beverage with some ice in there and let that be on your hand, or an ice pack or a hot, you know, heating pad on your body. So there's something very powerful that you know, about addressing the body and what the body's needing.

Unknown Speaker  14:10  
Yeah, and we were taught that in your actually to have like, cold showers. And there's all sorts of research that's looked into like water therapy and how it can affect us. And yeah, I really, I really can see how that can help shift because it's the segmentation I feel that sometimes hinders Ivan see in life, and I never component I would say to making life more vibrant and colourful is to be a good listener, which is the easiest thing so rich, rich, I'm sure you're an expert on how to be a good listener, since that's kind of the backbone of some of the things that you do.

Unknown Speaker  14:53  
Oh, my goodness, well, now you're completely speaking to my heart. And I think that listening is a gate weigh into so much healing and so many different directions including listening to ourselves. And, and I think that's where it begins, I think the more we listen to ourselves and our present to ourselves, the more it makes us more, it gives us more capacity to listen to others. So I think the practice starts there. And I think the listening to ourselves if we can do it without judgement, and with great compassion, you know, even maybe putting your hand over your heart and just being with what is in just in that noticing place, that can be such a powerful thing. Sometimes we want to run from our feelings, I don't want to feel pain or suffering. And ironically, when we sit with our feelings, again, without judgement, but with compassion, our feelings know how to find their comfortable spots, their cosy chairs to settle into inside us. And of course, our partners, our friends, our children, our parents, or teachers, whoever, they need the same kind of listening, ideally, without judgement, with compassion, with being present. And ideally, even with some reflective listening, just saying back what we hear them say, it's such a gift to give.

Unknown Speaker  16:29  
Because you think sometimes, when we're listening, where can sometimes be so worried about what to say in response, that we're not always fully, fully in there. And it's almost as if we're worried to kind of miss make a mistake, or instead of just kind of just allowing that person to kind of share their kind of heart and soul and then, and then kind of responds, you know, rather than kind of trying to take over the conversation, if that makes sense.

Unknown Speaker  17:00  
Exactly. So as an example, just to reflect back what you just said, Jane, that we don't necessarily need to overthink or sweat or answers, take over the conversation or bring in new material, that all we need to do is maybe lean forward, hear what the other person saying? What's going on in their heart and soul and say it back? So I just think that's, that's the that's the golden ticket. No,

Unknown Speaker  17:31  
I like that. The Golden that's the golden ticket. And yeah, things are simple, in a sense. And yet, it's just I guess it's sending reminders to kind of do these things. And like, next time a loved one is kind of talking to us. Just take a breath. And then yeah, kind of be in that be in that moment be in that conversation? I've got a question. If I may, yes. Is there anything that you still struggle with? And if so what do you do to navigate through it?

Unknown Speaker  18:01  
My primary struggles always make energy because I'm giving out a lot of energy through seeing my therapy clients through speaking engagements, and writing and illustrating books and, you know, just different things. And so, you know, I'm always trying to navigate, like, how do I restore my energy? How do I do balance, and really paying attention to myself care with that? setting boundaries, saying no, and to others sometimes, which is saying yes, to me, you know, just, there's numerous pieces there. But I will say to you, because of the pandemic in particular, I had not done public speaking in a while. And just last week, I had a public speaking engagement to a larger audience. And it just felt like such a leap. And I thought, well, I better warm up a little bit. So last minute, I signed up for to do in town, a poetry reading with just like 20 people, a very small group. And I did it but I found myself at the microphone, feeling nervous, and I thought, oh, no, it's like, I'm starting over again, with my nerves and public speaking and I got to go talk to a lot more people next week. Ironically, thankfully, I don't know how it happened. I really wasn't nervous. At the bigger one. I don't know what happened, but I'm grateful for it. But with the self care that I'm implying there about public speaking is I took care of myself. I thought, It's been a while since I've done it. I know that exposure helps like to do when I'm afraid of something to do it over and over. And that would be incredible self care for me. So I took action, and I signed up for something. So I think there's a piece of when we're afraid when we feel vulnerable. When there's stuff stirring, and we know it's there, to really not just sort of turn our back to it or say, Ah, but to get intentional and think, what would be luscious self care that I could do for those parts of me? For those vulnerable parts? What would both be intelligent responses to those? And also what would just be emotional, comforting? responses to those, you know, how can I be more loving? How can I treat myself with extra you know, Deluxe comfort knowing this is happening.

Unknown Speaker  20:49  
It's kind of tuning to oneself and knowing what one needs for the light and the situations and it worked out well, it didn't it that you were more nervous at the smaller thing, and then it was kind of ratio and that that was good.

Unknown Speaker  21:04  
And no one else chain could give that experience to me to set that up to know that's what I would need to get ready for the other thing. I knew that in only I could give that to myself. So I think for anybody going through something because we're all going through something, you know, it's a matter of tuning in to what can what, how can I be intentional to support myself through what this is. And if you feel blank about what that is, then maybe invite and support. Invite in seeing a counsellor invite in a mentor, invite in a coach invite in a friend

Unknown Speaker  21:44  
so that they can see the parts that we're not necessarily seeing our blind spots and things in line.

Unknown Speaker  21:53  
That's exactly right. Chain. Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Speaker  21:58  
I'm so keen to talk about your book. But I have one more question beforehand. And what is the one thing that you Rachel, wish everyone knew?

Unknown Speaker  22:11  
That everything we'd go through, no matter how painful no matter how joyous and in between is a chance to love ourselves, the boy or girl or a man or woman doesn't call you back. I'm gonna love myself. My house is on fire. I'm gonna love myself. You see a sharp word to me. I'm gonna love myself. I forget to show up for a coffee date. I'm gonna love myself. So that again, everything is a chance to respond to your heart with compassion and love.

Unknown Speaker  22:54  
Oh, beautiful. Thank you. I was reading I got your book on Kindle, because I didn't write but I was having a look at it beforehand. And I must say what an artist you are. And always. And for me, I am going to get the books gonna arrive in the post. But I'm going to do like my meditation and then just read like a page kind of each day as a kind of like reflection. For for that day. I'm not sure if that's necessarily how you meant to be. But would you mind sharing about your book,

Unknown Speaker  23:30  
or a lot of people do turn to it that way where they just because there's bite size reading. So you can just open up randomly, like what is what am I finding for today, or some people like to do it in order, you know, and just read one a day as a daily meditation. There's some people just last week, I was seeing some friends and one of them was reading it for the first time and she said she was just devouring it like, ate the first half and one mouthful. Instead it was like eating jelly beans. It's very comfortable. And it's, you know, but what it is, it's called the relationship book. It's my fourth illustrated self help a gift book. And it's I wrote it inspired throughout the pandemic of how clearly our relationships are so important to us and how we work so hard to find our way back to one another. This book has different chapters of different relationships that start the first chapter is about relationship with yourself. And then it goes on relationship with food, animals, clothing, other people, community and divinity. And each page spread includes an anonymous client quote from my therapy practice as well as my poem like reflection and my colourful illustration. But the whole thing is really meant to companion you as you love yourself through the Thinking about each of these relationships. I just really would hope the readers would come out of reading this just even more in love with themselves and feeling even more equipped to ride beside the relationships in their lives.

Unknown Speaker  25:18  
amazing gift to give people and what I really loved about your book, Rachel, is that you do illustrate it. And I think I'm being a very visual person myself, I just think that the pictures and the art kind of really helps the words sink in. Stick in more, would you be so kind as to read some some parts of your book out to our audience?

Unknown Speaker  25:41  
Oh, okay. We thank you for asking me. Oh, okay. Well, I'm going to read this one. And as I had mentioned, there's the anonymous client quote, that's the springboard and then I write my reflections. So the client quote is, I've named the nervous part of myself, the purple guy, and I'm working on hearing him and being good to him. And then I wrote, oh, in case anyone can see. That I wrote, I opened my cape and a cast of characters flax forward, each me awarded in depart, applauded, there's the purple guy who's always nervous, Gladys, who always feels she must put on a glad face, and candy, who invariably asks for more candy. There are many others with hands waving excitedly in the air, waiting for their day to be chosen, named and brought into the fold. These are the parts of me who I laugh with, and lounge with, cry with and hold, rest with and wrestle with, reconcile with and release, and do it all over again. Seeing them outside of me, gives me a new way to introduce myself to myself, I then seem to show up with better manners, treating myself with more care. At the close of the day, I tuck them in and whisper sweet dreams and tell them, I'll see them again in the morning.

Unknown Speaker  27:27  
Oh, awesome. Wow, thank you so much virtual near. to that. And if our listeners are tuning in, and they want to pick up a copy of your book, I know it's on Amazon worldwise is anywhere else. They can get it direct from your website as well.

Unknown Speaker  27:47  
Yes. So they can go to my website, which is Rachel And it's Rachel E, L. And Oz is spelled like the beginning of awesome Aw, e s. And when you go to my website on the top bar, you can click on shop that will bring you to my little Etsy shop online, or you know, blog or other things. At the top, there's something called Love letters and something. And there they can sign up for a free. It's called worthy I's meditation that will just land directly in their inbox, and then some other just lovely letters from me, that's just meant to support them. And the other offer I would give is that if you order something from my Etsy shop, and in when you're checking out, if you say I was listening to this podcast and you offered if I bought something that I would include an extra free book of diving in, it's called diving in. I'll include I'll add that to whatever's in your order.

Unknown Speaker  28:56  
Oh, thank you, Rich. That's very generous of you to do that. Yeah, absolutely. Fantastic. You're one of the most kind of vibrant, colourful people I've had on my guests have been awesome. I was so excited to speak to you. If anyone voted being authentic, it's yourself. And yeah, so just keep spreading the magic in the world before we come to a close. Is there anything else that you would like to add?

Unknown Speaker  29:25  
Thank you.

Unknown Speaker  29:27  
Thank you so much, Rachel and dear listeners do stay tuned. As always the isn't meditation inspired by today's show. As promised, here is your meditation. Inspired by today's show. Top Tips for the meditation is either sit nice and cross legged on the floor of a nice straight back. Always nice to sit on a block or a question. Or if that's not available for you, you sit in a chair with a back nice and straight. The important thing is you're not slouching and if you're doing something that requires you concentration All you need to do is just pause this and you can reconvene the meditation at a time that is good for you, if you're doing the meditation that's begging. So this is a two minute guided meditation, which is going to help you find a bit more colour and vibrancy in your everyday life. So sitting up super tall, as you breathe, you're going to close your eyes and imagine yourself in a warm summer's day. Whatever is the perfect temperature for your unique self. It can be hot, cool, whatever feels good to you. As you walk, you become to this great big, brightly painted gate, and you open the gate and you're going into a meadow, which has like a natural country walk through it. And either side of this path is some beautiful swaying grass, as it sways in the light, Summer Breeze. And you start to make steps forward. And at first, you're really enjoying this walk, and then perhaps you're feeling maybe I want a little bit more colour and vibrancy into my life. And he take a calming slow, deep breath in and out through the nostrils as you inhale as you exhale, and all of a sudden, you have created the magic of the field, filling with these rich and vibrant coloured flowers all in your favourite colours. And you see the beauty of the simplistic nearness of these beautiful but vibrant flowers. And these flowers are really the beautiful, vibrant colours and energy that is present within your soul. Sometimes we just forget to see this within ourselves. But those flowers that you see as you walk are a projection of your inner self is beautiful flowers, like the beautiful uniqueness that is you. And you walk a little bit further and you can feel the scent of the flowers. Whatever is your favourite scent starts to fill the air as this beautiful, vibrant flowers, a reflection of your soul, bring life and vibrancy into your world to the end of the metal, and you realise that perhaps you just want to linger here a little bit longer, taking in this beautiful, vibrant metal that has been created in your unique imagination, the beauty of your soul. And anytime that you forget that just take a an imaginary walk and medicine walk into your own inner metal and you will feel the beauty of the colours that are there for you. Start to take some slow calm deep breaths in and out through the nostrils as you come back into the moment come back into the room. And if you want to do an added bit of homework, perhaps you can think of some ways inspired by our conversation today with rituals of how you can kind of bring that colour and vibrancy back into your world. What form of expression you wish to use to do that, be it clothes or any other form of expression that feels nice to you. So and the gentle yoga warrior as always, I want to thank you for listening. If you would like a personalised recording meditation for something that you're specifically working on, then feel free to reach out to myself. And as always, we'll come back to you and we have voicemail now on our websites. If you would like to ask a question then feel free to reach out there. Thank you

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