How To Live A More Mindful Life No Matter What Happens

Unknown Speaker  0:00  
I'm your host, the gentle yoga warrior and please welcome today, transformational mindful coach and facilitator try McFadden. According to try some other, can you see the light was tries very first complete praise in the form of a question. Or perhaps it was a declarative statement, hard to say. But try says that, in hindsight, it seems highly symbolic, perhaps an early expression of his soul's purpose, supporting, helping and guiding irbis. To do just that. Try is the founder of Wisdom Warrior coaching, he works with the tools and techniques of mindfulness to support others in achieving optimal growth. He also works at the Asian Leadership Institute as a corporate coach, having gone through and tries a website like I often do with guests, I was I was reading his testimonials, and one of them, many of them are very beautiful bird like to really share this one today, and someone put a true guide. As such, he embodies the wisdom with which he supported me. And that makes all the difference. He helps you to see what you cannot see in yourself, both the potential you have for reaching your highest heights, as well as the things that might prevent you from getting there, and may go on to say that they worked with him at a time of transition. And they said they say that now delighted. It was made more graceful thanks to his expertise and incredible presence, a highly recommend working retry if you're seeking change in your life, and desire to realise all that you truly are. So while that is really beautiful, and joining us today, all the way from Mexico try McFadden's to try it. Welcome to the show.

Unknown Speaker  1:48  
Thank you, thank you so much for having me. And thank you for that wonderful introduction.

Unknown Speaker  1:52  
So say, I'm going to talk about how to live a more mindful life, no matter what happens in the words of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, always hold fast to the present, every situation, indeed, every moment is of infinite value. For is the representation of a whole eternity. I really felt that captured the theme of that what we're going to talk about today for me anyway, so try What does living a more meaningful life means to you, no matter what happens,

Unknown Speaker  2:26  
loot? The answer is within the question, we all have the power as it were, the ability to choose what our experience of life is going to be 100% 100% of the time. I know, it doesn't always seem like that, but that is actually the way of things. So, things are what they are, it is what it is, we add meaning to it, we add story to it based on all kinds of, you know, for all kinds of reasons. And we can learn to realise we can realise that we are in control as it were, which paradoxically involves a lot of letting go. And we can choose to interpret things any way we wish, and therefore have a much more mindful, richer, fuller life. Moving forward.

Unknown Speaker  3:19  
Beautiful, and so true. So true. If sometimes it can be hard on it to, to see that especially if there's some external situations happening that we may not feel that we have in control our for as life does, it flows as a surprise. And ultimately, we have control of how we react to that. I think that's where the control is when maybe it might not also be the whole situation. Would you agree with that? Or would you think that differently?

Unknown Speaker  3:47  
Yes, and I would use the word respond. Reacting is a better fit for what we do subconsciously. Responding involves a lot more awareness, a realisation that we have options, quite possibly taking a pause and to remember that we have the options to consider what they are and then acting again consciously responding to whatever it is that is seemingly happening outside of us.

Unknown Speaker  4:13  
That's a really wise way of putting it because reaction just is that my use of word there is like this reactions that oh, I'm a victim Where's responding does feel a lot more kind of mature and wiser. Where to be like you said, just like kind of pause and instead of kind of feeling like a victim or have no control of a situation because there's always there's always choices, but sometimes it can get lost in the whole kind of drama of what what life is. So how and why did you become a coach and try and soy and select Set to hear your story and your journey?

Unknown Speaker  4:53  
Well, it's been a long slow process and you know my connection with the whole concept started a long time ago, I had this sort of powerful, even magical connection with a man who was to become my mentor. I met him at a Buddhist meditation retreat at a monastery overseas in Asia, where he had been a monk, he's an American man, but he had been a monk there, and he was head to head come back to teach. And I was so struck with his presence and his humour and his wisdom and his warmth, and, you know, very intrigued. And he was working, even then, as a very high level executive coach, he was sort of applying the tools and techniques of mindfulness, etc. You know, towards that end, in that in that context, so slowly, slowly, I made my way through a process which involves a lot of my own ego work, Shadow Work, and, and really owning my suffering really fully experiencing it, rather than trying to push it away, as most of us do. And finally, there came a point where he felt I was ready to align with his work and enjoin his, his legacy really?

Unknown Speaker  6:10  
Oh, wow, wow, it sounds like he's amazing, amazing person and inspiring. What about this particular mentor? Was it was appealing to you? Was it down just just his outlook and roots in Buddhism, I guess, was very present and very calm?

Unknown Speaker  6:24  
Yes. Well, it was a combination of lots of things I'm very discerning about, about, you know, receiving teachers. I think words like teacher, Master love, these things are massively overused. But there was just something about him, that was a good fit for me. And again, it took a long time before I really was capable of even starting to do the kind of work that he did. And I guess maybe to answer both questions, coaching provides me with an opportunity to directly serve others, and to draw on all of my experiences through the past, whether it be as a yoga teacher trainer, or you know, a practitioner, Buddhism, mindfulness life experience, you know, solo vision quests in the wilderness, whatever the essence of all of those things comes in and informs, is infused with coaching sessions, it's often not spoken to outwardly, because you know, it's never about the coach, it's always about the individual, but it allows me kind of a funnel of sorts, to really bring it all in, and focus on the other person and provide that individual or that group with, you know, the the best of what I have to share the best of what can come through me at any given moment.

Unknown Speaker  7:43  
It sounds like a great sense of being very humble in your, in your wisdom, and it feels to me, you it comes from the heart about the big picture, rather than kind of, like you said, the word coach, teacher, I know there can be dressed up as many, many things these days not to be critical of anyone, but not always, maybe they're not constant that always comes from the heart. And it can be sometimes to keep them if you want to do it to get more famous, rather than kind of giving the people what they need, it can sometimes become a case of given what people what they want, which isn't always the right thing, in my opinion, because I also come from a yoga teaching background and and I also feel like the ego and which can be present in being a teacher as well, it can have many layers, and just as you peel one layer off, and no one can kind of sneak it in the back. And I think the only way to really deliver is to be as conscious as we possibly can to do the work ourselves, but also allow for a few minutes, in a sense, allow it to kind of come through us. What aspects of mindfulness do you feel are the most important to our listeners to practice in this ever changing? World?

Unknown Speaker  9:01  
Great question, because it's one that that will be of service to everyone. Hopefully, my answer will be as well. One of the first things we can do is to take mindfulness down out of its lofty perch, you know, that it inhabits this sort of abstract realm and, and realise that it is moment to moment, engagement with it, that is what leads to results and that it makes it useful rather than this, you know, interesting idea that might hang out in the ether. And also to realise that in its traditional context, mindfulness also includes what I will call heartfulness, as well. We need to bring our emotions in to the whole process. They're hugely powerful energy source and aspect of our awareness. And then if I may just add just to put a finer point on it. So one thing that virtually everyone if not everyone has available to them is working with their breath using the breath as a way to anchor to ground to centre to open. I mean, our breath is our best friend, whether we know it or not, it's here from the moment we're born, it's here until the moment we die. It's always present, it's always honest with us. And it's always here in service of us. And through the conduit of the breath, we can shift our emotional and mental states and physical states as well should we wish. If we listen to where it's at, initially, we honour it, we hear its messages, then we can work to change it. To, to Yes, become more mindful. And related to that, of course, is awareness of our body and what we can do to let go of stress and open the body up and make the body a more receptive vessel for the moment at hand.

Unknown Speaker  10:50  
Yeah, I think it's a very fine, fine point, by reconnecting to the breath, it can just ease so many things by just slowing down and breathing. And I do find sometimes we can get hung up on how we're breathing that we all have to breathe a certain way and breathing through the nose doesn't necessarily come so natural for some people. What do you most people come to you for support? With? Generally? Like? That's quite a general question, I'm sure it's all a multitude of different things.

Unknown Speaker  11:21  
Well, a significant portion of my work is in corporate settings. And most people come to me with, I guess, in essence, these might be the top three more effort and support effort towards and support with work life balance, managing relationships with colleagues is also a very prominent one. And then just how to better manage their own internal states as they contend with this VUCA modern workplace and and you know, this, the constancy of it, the speed of it, etc, I would say those three things constitute the, the bulk of my of my work and my support with others. And then when life coaching clients and other folks comment depends, if they have a spiritual bent, then in a sense, I play that role of kind of helping them move into into spirit and kind of conversely, but the same thing into soul. And that takes many forms, sometimes spoken to directly and sometimes not, but that's an essence what's what's going on. And in that setting,

Unknown Speaker  12:29  
well, that sounds like a lot, a lot of helpful, a lot of a lot of people and specially cut the corporate environment, it's a great place for learning and transformation. It can be a great, great lesson of many lessons, but also it can sometimes be a bit toxic due to misunderstanding so I think that's a really good place to offer this kind of work. And I don't know, taken away i facades that so many of us can, like have as a protection device. And it sounds really fascinating. So what makes a quick

Unknown Speaker  13:00  
coach, fun question for me to answer, there are lots of ways to be a great coach. I'll use one example. Some people are very good at being kind of dispassionate and yet still very present, removing themselves from the situation. And, and thus able to offer a very clear feedback, very clear mirroring, to kind of see the paths forward the obstacles someone might have, or or think they have all of that, that can be very effective to a certain level and needs to be part of any coaching or most coaching. But to me, the greatest coaches, the best coaches have an enormous amount of love in their heart, and have learned how to skillfully express that love. And in order to find it, we all have it, in order to find it, a coach has to do their own work, and needs to have done their own work through time. So that that channel is is you know, is more than a channel, it's a huge gushing river on the way to the ocean. And then it's again, how to steward and channel that flow into the other person with the other person. And that often involves a state of absorption of some type intuition or deeper still, and again, lots of this is is is maybe not even touched on with the client. But that's the experience that coach needs to have. I personally fall in love with as it were, every single person that I coach, I find a way to do that. So that I care. I really really care. They're a fellow human, a fellow journeyer another soul. Here we are in this moment of presence together. What is the most useful, helpful thing I can offer you because we are one, it really needs to come with that realisation for the best coaches. The greatest coaches are working from from source.

Unknown Speaker  14:56  
Yeah, you hit the nail on the head source working from source and working with Love is Love is love is the greatest, in my opinion is the greatest energy and the greatest gift that we can give people a love has been authentic self and haven't been brave enough to be an authentic self. There's a wonderful book, I've read the courage to be disliked. And it's like, you know, we don't all have to. Everyone doesn't have to always agree with us. But the people that really touch and inspire me are people that who have had the bravery to to be themselves No, no matter what, what does faith mean to you try? How can we bring it more into, into our life,

Unknown Speaker  15:34  
best definition of faith I have ever heard is from a teacher of mine, who's an elder in the of the Blackfeet people of North America, Native American. And there is a phrase in their language that commonly gets translated into English as simply the word faith. But it's much more profound than that, I would say, and I share this with permission, allowing myself to be guided to a place that I do not know, on a journey, where I have no control.

Unknown Speaker  16:12  
Well, that the energy was you shared that almost felt this silence just kind of came in to the room, even though I was listening to your words, and I could feel like this. I don't know that this deep, deep energy because you shared that. So on that note, what does the world need more off right now? And what could it do with a little less? As as things stand? The

Unknown Speaker  16:37  
answer I have, I have two answers. And they they are paradoxical in a sense, they contrast with each other. Because in the greatest sense, in the biggest sense, the world has exactly the amount of everything that it needs, and an absence of everything that it has, because it needs that as well. In other words, the world is functioning perfectly, even in its seeming imperfection. It is exactly the combination of elements necessary for every being that is here to learn to grow, to have the experience they're supposed to have on this planet with this planet at this time. So there's that there's that which we can say is a truth, perhaps on a different level, the world absolutely needs what we were just speaking of more love. To put a finer point on it, there's plenty of love. We need ways to access that love that state of consciousness. And love, by definition is unconditional. So when involves letting go in a ball is an absence of judgement. And in that acceptance of all that is other people, our relationship to nature, our role as stewards to nature, all of this, it needs more of that, and it needs less. Conversely, it needs less ignorance, less blocks, less separation.

Unknown Speaker  18:04  
Yeah, with a world where I feel this can be a big challenge by being mindful, what are some good practices that our listeners could adopt some today him that can help them on their quest, or their journey, or even just to be just to learn how to pause? Sure.

Unknown Speaker  18:22  
And just to connect a bit with what you said earlier, this ability to be less judgmental, to have less separation in the world outside of us needs to start at home, in our lodge with us, we need to be more accepting of ourselves, whatever arises more honest, more present with and accepting of whatever is, because that's the only way we're going to be able to change it in ourselves. And that's the only way the world is going to change.

Unknown Speaker  18:52  
Yes, absolutely. mindfulness practices, there's any tips for our listeners that they can adopt. Realistically, that doesn't take two hours every morning, because some of us do that. But unknown that everyone to start with has the ability or has the time,

Unknown Speaker  19:06  
that is always time well spent, and important, if not necessary to sort of recharge our mindfulness batteries. I would call that a meditative mindfulness practice, whether formal or informal, we can do it washing the dishes or something. But what is available to more people more of the time is what I would call applied mindfulness. How am I going to engage with myself and the world in a mindful way in this moment, and it takes remembering and therefore it takes various ways various reminders that need to be in place. I'll tell you in all of these fancy tools and techniques through time the thing that seems to be the most popular and that works the best are post it notes, good old fashioned AI as we call them in the States. I'm not sure the names of the same thing. Okay, because there is a physical reminder that you can customise but it is it is remembering. And then it's remembering if nothing else, remember that there are options. And that might take that pause. And it's certainly going to involve a pause, whether you remember their options and then pause as a result, or you pause first in order to remember that their options, take a beat. unless it's an emergency, you have a moment to consider, to breathe, to pause to relax your shoulders, you know, again, a quick body scan can be effective, just one part of the body full body, relax into a deep, full centering breath for a minute or two. And then remember that you have options, even if you don't believe it at that moment that there is any other way you could feel or sense or act or anything else, at least be open to the possibility there's another option. And then from there, again, more often more of the time, we will respond. Instead of reacting instead of say reacting in anger, we will choose a neutral state of mind. Or instead of a moment of separation, which could be awkward, we might, you know, literally or figuratively reach out and just touch someone's shoulder just to let them know it's okay. And that your wisdom or whatever form it takes an infinite number of forms, we start to construct a very different reality for ourselves a much more mindful one, a much more loving one.

Unknown Speaker  21:24  
And 2%, we can build up in a sense that the more practice is going to make it is going to become more natural philosophers who find it hard to open up the heart to the world today, is there any way that can be made more possible for their mining tips on?

Unknown Speaker  21:41  
Sure, I mean, everyone's going to find their own way into their heart. And it is said that the the longest journey anywhere is from the head to the heart, we have to get out of the habit of living in this tiny little attic office where our middle manager frantically tries to control the world, and drop back down into what most cultures through most of human history have known to be the seed of wisdom, our heart, there's 1000s of times more electromagnetic energy in the heart than the brain, all this stuff. So it probably involves at first if we feel close, taking some time, apart from people or in some kind of environment where we feel safe, probably alone. And it's only us and kind of easing it forward and teasing it forward. And looking at the things that keep our heart wounded, hurt, scarred, over blocked from love, and love, of course, and all of its forms trust, openness, connection, what's going on there, bring that to the surface, bring that into the light, knowing that there is light to heal it, essentially. And in doing so, you know, it said that once some, once you realise God knows everything you're free. And then we are only as sick as our secrets. And if we can just bring all of this forward knowing that like this is the human condition and experience and everyone has had to contend with this to some degree or another. And in doing so, we were relieved of burden, more light more love comes in more freedom, more expansion, more openness, and we live accordingly.

Unknown Speaker  23:23  
Absolutely, absolutely try if people are wanting to work with you, what's the best way to go about that?

Unknown Speaker  23:30  
The best place to find out more information about me and my approach, etc, is through my private website, which is wisdom, Warrior coaching, calm. And through that too, you can reach out to me through the contact form, WhatsApp, whatever and, and just connect. And then you know, if it feels like a good fit, we'll move forward with having some kind of session. You know, it's no pressure, there's no obligation, it's sort of a chemistry call. And we just see, okay, what's what's happening? You know, how does this feel? How might I be of service to you, for that matter? How might you be a better service to yourself that can start from that initial initial call? And then yet again, if it feels right, we move forward from there.

Unknown Speaker  24:14  
Oh, that sounds that sounds really easy and straightforward. And I'll also put a link with the description of the podcast show of your website in case they didn't catch that. Are there any of the tips that you could give our listeners right now on finding inner peace? So anything that you feel would be of relevance to them? Yes,

Unknown Speaker  24:32  
it does tie back into the the idea of faith our relationship to it. And you know, faith and trust are interesting bedfellows but very much related. There are an almost infinite number of reasons that we can tell ourselves that keep us from an experience of peace. In other words, there are a multitude of reasons in the world that we can we can point to and say I can't To Be at peace, because this is happening or that's happening or this is happening, it goes back to the the old adage, don't believe your thoughts, you can consider them, you can honour them, they're a guest in your home. But you can choose whether to believe them or not. And if they're thoughts that aren't serving you, or not helping, you are not supporting you don't feel like your friends. You can give them X amount of time, if they do feel like they're supporting you, and allowing you and bringing you in, or at least inviting you into a peaceful experience. Maybe spend more time with those friends.

Unknown Speaker  25:35  
Someone once said that just because you felt something in your mind doesn't mean you have to touch that thought. So it just because something came into your your thoughts doesn't mean that necessarily has to be given energy. And like the way you said that, does it serve you and you don't have to make friends with the thoughts that are kind of not kind of not really helping you like we can have all kinds of things that are not good enough, or am I safe, or whatever it is that goes through people's minds. And realistically, I've come to believe over the years that we can think and fear a lot of things, but mainly that the fear and the energy comes from us believing those things. And most most cases, those things don't necessarily turn out in that negative way. And it's kind of just African of perception or, or our worries. Yeah, but I really do feel mindfulness is the key. Are there any books because I do have a bookshop on my website, and I like to share like links in them. Are there any books that you would recommend or music or anything that you feel would inspire our listeners,

Unknown Speaker  26:41  
thanks for the opportunity to share. It's always a tricky thing, you know, we might think we know someone quite well. And then we recommend a movie or music that we feel sure they're going to just love just like we did, and then they don't connect with it. So it's really, it's really hard to say, ultimately, I can only speak to the things that have moved me. And then again, that's very personal. And I don't know that would be helpful. Having said that, there's one book in particular, it's an old book from the 60s, a small, tiny little book that has an enormous amount of awareness and wisdom in it. It's called the lazy man's guide to enlightenment. It's a nice little pocket book and and the prophet by Kahlil Gibran is a classic, of course, and that feels so divinely channelled and comprehensive and its way and worth rereading, even if someone has read it before

Unknown Speaker  27:31  
that I remember reading that book years ago, and it was probably one of the first spiritual books that kind of set me on my, on my path, but I just remember thinking, wow, this is just so amazing. So true. So I'm definitely gonna read again, because I don't I don't believe in coincidences.

Unknown Speaker  27:48  
Yes. Great. Jonathan Livingston Seagull is another old classic that has stood the test of time. Oh,

Unknown Speaker  27:56  
yeah. That's a great book as well. Oh, yes. I feel like I really like to put links in these. So dear listeners, I will put links to these recommendations are in my little books bookstore. So try how do you think we can become better guests on this planet today? With where

Unknown Speaker  28:14  
you're at, like everything else? So look around your immediate environment? How can you sit in it? How can you find your seat and more comfortably? How can you be less alien and more at home? It might involve for many of us, it might involve our other than human creatures that we hang out with a pet, a plant, even, you know, how can I be more loving, more connected to this, this being you know, how can I better serve it? How can I communicate with it, we might not believe that's possible. But in fact, that has been the norm throughout most of human history. It's abnormal, not to communicate with other creatures and in very direct ways rather than just other humans. That is a way again, just kind of expanding from where we're at, in concentric circles, widening circles to start developing relationships with, with with all that it's not just living things, you know, conversations with rocks have been some of the most deep and profound chats I've ever had.

Unknown Speaker  29:21  
No, I completely agree. I've got some beautiful crystals and I feel really kind of I can sit and meditate with them because I'm quite Vatta it is. Well explained list as I do. I will do talk on the different doshas in the future, but that has quite air and ether and the rock is kind of latest kind of really grounds and he can feel like the energy. Some people may be sceptical that's their choice, but I feel that there's there is so much more and like this world is a gift and then we kind of often overlook it. We just think that humans only while some of us can think humans are anything that can Townsquare you can have special moments without animals. And when a deer crossed my path and its gaze caught my eyes and it was just beautiful as Yeah. So open your eyes, dear listeners to the world can be a magical abundant place and one that we sometimes take for granted because we've kind of been bought into this kind of way of thinking that we have to be busy 24/7. And it's just not true. It's not true. So try, I'm mindful of the fact that we have kept you on for a while. But is there any last things that you'd like to share with our listeners? Before? Hello, you go about your lovely day in Mexico.

Unknown Speaker  30:41  
Thank you. I feel somehow that what I was here to say has been said, and rather than trying to add to it, let me just honour that that sense and leave it where it is.

Unknown Speaker  30:53  
perfect, absolutely perfect and completely mindful. And then in the present. So Ty, thank you so much for your time and your wisdom. And it was really nice to connect and learn from you today. Thank you. So joining us all the way from Mexico trying McFadden's. So thank you, Troy. Thank you so much, and listeners do stay tuned. As always, I will be sharing a meditation that was inspired by today's talk. So as promised his this week's amazing meditation inspired by today's talk on how to live a more mindful life no matter what happens. So find somewhere that it can be nice and peaceful and somebody won't be disturbed. So best not to do when driving or operating machinery. Just press pause if you're listening to this podcast and you're out and about, or just find somewhere nice and peaceful to sit where you won't be disturbed. Ideally, the spine is nice and tall, shoulders back and down. So whatever is the best way for you to sit up with a nice tall spine. Life is a dance mindfulness is witnessing that dance. So allow your mind to be completely in the moment completely in the now. And be open to giving up the Battle of struggling with mindfulness instead, embrace it with a sense of fun, a sense of being. The thoughts may cascade around, trying to drag you here and there. But instead, notice any dreams that you have anything that pops into your head

Unknown Speaker  32:49  
mindfulness, mindfulness, mind full of less mindful of less means does not mean that you should never think but in this moment, can you just be present mind full of less mindfulness. You are already love and always will be. Lots of people already love you. The mindfulness zone full of hope and purpose. You can bring more into your day, mindful of less mindful of less.

Unknown Speaker  34:03  
I aksumite flies my mindfulness muscle the more I'm able to place myself in the presence

Unknown Speaker  34:20  
Mindfulness means to let go, let go. So whatever's happened in your mind, just let it flow flow flow. Mindful of less mindful of less. There's times and places to think and breaths and care and be but there's also times where you can set yourself free, mindful of less more mindfulness. Be be be allow yourself to be free.

Unknown Speaker  34:59  
Social change can make big difference. Do a little bit of self reflection. Switch each negative phrase into a positive one. So as you go about your day, mindful of less mindful of less, but also be the watcher of your thoughts. And if your mind starts to take you into a place that isn't right for you, allow, allow, allow. But think mindful of less mindful of less mindful of less. I am love say this to yourself out loud, I am love. So each time the mind feels so full to bursting, so full to pet bursting, pause, reflect and be, allow yourself to be free, with a mind full of less. You don't need to carry so much for like heavy cement blocks. Instead, put them down, allow allow the mind to be full of less trust in yourself and know mindfulness is obtainable. So start to take some deep breaths in and out through the nostrils slowly does it as you come back into the moment, come back into the room, come back into the present, and go forth mindfully enjoying your day. And just remember, whenever you feel that you're thinking too much, you can always use that phrase, mindfulness, mindful of less. I really appreciate you taking the time out of your busy schedule to listen to my podcast. It means a great deal to me. Just to let you know that we also have now an amazing, conscious online bookstore if you just go to the gentle yoga warrior.com You will find all details on our amazing bookstore

Transcribed by https://otter.ai