Letting go of Negative Behaviour And Developing Supporting Habits

Unknown Speaker  0:00  
While dear listeners as I, as I record this spontaneous episode, I just couldn't wait to share it with you because I feel I want to kind of celebrate some good things that have kind of been happening or things that have kind of like shifted. And I really feel that it's a combination of this autumn fall inspired season that I'm presenting to you, dear listener, which is all about letting go and kind of shedding and making space for new things. And I've also got some amazing people around us. And we've been talking about this fantastic book as well, which is called atomic habits. And I really want to try and get the author onto the podcast. So I wouldn't, I'm going to reach out and see if I can get them onto the show. Also, I've got an amazing podcast support group run by Mark savant, which is absolutely fantastic. If you want some details, please let me know. But I'm also doing some shamanic training with brilliant, brilliant, fantastic teachers, which are really authentic really, like 40 plus years of knowledge. And kind of non that kind of appropriation, which we feel inclined to kind of do a lot in the west where the these teachers really kind of walk their walk, know, what to work with, within the lands that I live in, and absolutely fantastic. But it's a combination, there's doing some of the exercises, and the books I've been reading, and also the people that have been in my peer group, and then kind of really shifted through some blocks, like I actually have a phobia of driving. So it was a bit hard on myself, I kind of passed my test many years ago when I was in my early 20s. But I didn't really have a car or to start it. And then when I did have a car, I kind of feel like moved into a city where I hadn't quite developed my competence. And like, if you try and drive in London, and you don't know what you're doing, people can be a bit unforgiving. And, and I kind of just like, let it go. Because when you live in a city like that, you don't actually need to have a car and it's actually quite convenient not to have a car, but then when you move out into the country, so you realise actually, I need the car. And but to cut long story short, decades went by before I started to drive, and then I start to try to relearn to drive like in the middle of lockdown, and that was made and teach. But that was stopped stop. And then I was gonna get a car. And then that didn't quite happen yet. And then kind of enjoyed my partner's car, which I find a bit long excetera had I kind of because sometimes, oh yeah, I'm gonna sort this out tomorrow. Like some things I'm really good at, like I stick to on meditation, like, my spiritual practice in the morning, my homework from my calls, make sure I get these podcasts out. And then there's other things where it really is really bringing interfere with me, and don't get me wrong, I still don't enjoy driving. But I realised that I kind of really, really, really need to kind of change that habit. Because if I look at yoga poses or anything that I've learned kind of shamanism, yoga, spiritual work, like some things don't come straight away, and you have to kind of get into like an athlete, you have to get into the habit of developing it. Sometimes, like, I have aspects of my course when I'm thinking, Oh, how am I going to do this? And then I kind of just do it. And then it's not a never as bad as what I think it is all it is I just do it a bit more. And it's what I've really wanted to have that same approach when it comes to my driving. And how is this related to you, you're probably thinking, dear listener, but there must be something I can bet there must be something in your life that you want to do, you know, it's going to help you in your life, but maybe there's certain blocks towards it. And maybe you kind of don't think you're good enough. But if I can teach you anything, it's about breaking things down. So this is what I'm doing my driving at the moment, I'm breaking it down like I do with yoga poses and breaking it down into a way where, like, if I don't do it, I'm never gonna improve equally, like, I don't want to start off driving miles and miles and miles. Because I kind of don't quite have the experience. So I've set myself a goal, I'm going to drive a few times a week. See how I go kind of improve because I know how to do it. It's more like the confidence thing. However, that's not going to go with me kind of not doing it. So I pass on test, I can drive I know how to drive but instead of kind of

Unknown Speaker  4:37  
running away from it or breaking that down. And so I'm letting go of the habit of saying I can't I'm developing new habits of thinking. Yeah, maybe I'm not like Formula One driver. But I'm going to try and realise I'm kind of doing that with different aspects of my life. I can kind of really kind of sort my budgeting out. I have a plan like I'm Setting up my shamanic healing side of my business studying and things like this. Sometimes we can kind of get overwhelmed. And yeah, like sometimes you think, oh, gosh, I just can't do this. But the biggest tip ever is break down into components, what it is you're trying to achieve, just like athletes do, just like many successful people do. Tell yourself, you can't all the time isn't going to kind of as the saying goes cut the mustard, I invite you to think to yourself, what is it that I really want to achieve? And then kind of repeat myself a bit, but it's kind of, really, sometimes we have to be remembered a few times, or reminded rather a few times of how to kind of cut things down and kind of put it into things. So what is the thing that you really want to achieve? Like, don't try and do all at once, pick one thing and just think What is he trying to achieve, and then see which ways that you can break it down. And the way you can possibly break it down is knowledge. So do some research, do some knowledge, but find your knowledge from more than one place, because, you know, there's always two sides, two or more sides to other way how to do something, find the way that's right for you find the right support group. And even if you don't have it in your loved ones and peers, there's lots of things online groups, support groups, like I have a fantastic podcast group, which really, really, really helped me a lot and really help develop and support and they're just such wonderful people. And yeah, you can do that with whatever you're doing. So there's lots of places you can look, you can look on the metre, all different places that you can look to find a support group that's right for you, then you're going to look at your time realistically,

Unknown Speaker  6:46  
because you know, sometimes we if you say, Oh yeah, I'm going to run like two hours every day, and you don't have the time, that's not going to happen. But maybe you can break I'm just using running as an example maybe can break that running down. And kind of think, well, I can't do a long run every day. But maybe I can do some short runs, and then do a long run once a week. So there's kind of ways to break it down. So whatever it is, maybe you want to be a chef. But you think oh well, I'm not good enough yet, well, you're not going to get good enough unless you kind of practice. So practice makes perfect practice, practice, practice. But with a sense of presence. The other biggest takeaway that I've learned in life is to enjoy the process. Like, you know, we can be so focused on the future and yes, but it's enjoying the process and enjoying being uncomfortable. And that's how I've seen with the driver and like, Japan is like I really it's not my favourite thing in the world. But I wanted to go off and be able to explore places without being kind of like driven by loved ones, it's not kind of always fair on them to kind of drive me places, and there's no places you can get to by public transport, but some places you need a car. So I'm willing to step into that sense of uncomfortability, if that's a word uncomfortability uncomfortable way of being to kind of like develop because I can kind of see the long game, but also enjoy the short time way of being where as I'm in the present moment, I'm also doing that with my goals and aspirations. So I'm doing that by letting go of the habits that no longer serve me. So to do that, I'm learning to budgeting, making my money work properly, rather than kind of not respecting it just from bad learned habits. Like I'm not a big shopper or anything like that. But it's just kind of getting managing better, you know, the fluctuations of someone who's self employed, any of you that are self employed, and people who aren't self employed even it live can kind of be where we've got more costs of the times than then the others. So kind of learning to really respect and manage that and also respect and manage my time. Because it can be overwhelming them to know how to kind of fit everything in. And yeah, like kind of using things to kind of break down that time and put it into a way that's helpful for you like I have this amazing notepad, which I bought. And it kind of shows you how you can write what what you're going to try and fit into that day. So if you've got a day where you want to work on something, but you're not not not sure how to structure it, the biggest tip I'd have for you is to structure it but also allow some time for spontaneous things. You know, things can come up, but it's kind of prioritising what's right for you. And within healthy balance of also kind of like connecting with your family and friends but also kind of, you know, like, TV can be so addictive. I know if you listen to my podcast regularly, I go on and on and on about this bit technology TV like you know, I enjoy phones like the like that, like most people I'm sure but you know there's sometimes you just gotta think no, I'm going to Stephen Wait from that, I'm going to sit down, and I'm going to dedicate my time to doing something that helps me. And then most important thing to really, really, really factor in to releasing these habits that no longer serve us and kind of developing ourselves is to factor in time for being for walks. For meditation, if meditation isn't your thing, then you can just put put a piece of music on something that you love dance to it, but completely be present as you do it, that is a form of meditation, maybe you can pick up a book that has really like a self help book and really read it. But with a real deep sense of presence, you know, and maybe you don't have that time to always be by yourself, maybe you've got like young children, but you can take them for a walk. And you can make a real sense of presence, like looking at nature, and kind of like having fun. There's all these ways, and this special for energy, it's a kind of time abundance, because this loss of the crops that come into, like, through taxation, and like, I don't know, there's something majestic and beautiful, by the way, the way, by the way, the trees kind of shed their leaves and like the colours, or term or falls, I use both words, because I have an international audience. All this kind of like magical kind of ways. And that kind of I don't know, energy that you kind of get. I love. That's my thing, all the seasons have so much to offer us. But I think in a way, we kind of lost our way when we kind of don't work with the seasons.

Unknown Speaker  11:46  
And I know that some in some places, the seasons aren't so kind of drastic as they are here in the UK. But it's finding the rhythm of what's happening in the country that you're in at the time and what works for you. So even if you're listening to this, and it's not fall autumn, where you're at, you can still kind of draw on that awesome, rich kind of abundant energy. And it's real good time for creativity, because we're working with Vatta energy so and the aerobic system vatter is energy of creativity, which is air. And it is also if so it's really a magical time to kind of really get a creativity going. But it's important to keep grounded at the same time. So we're throughout life, it's important to keep grounded and I'll go back to it again, as so often can sound like a stuck record on this, but there is a method to my madness. And that tapping into that Autumn groundedness really helps and nothing is so more grounded than going for a nice walk. A nice run, if that's if that's not possible for you just kind of sitting in nature finding something that works for you. So to summarise, you can let go of all the stuff that kind of stops you and blocks you like TV or kind of not going for your dreams. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable and see the long, long game with what you want to achieve all the time enjoying where you are right now. Tap into that awesome magic and that Autumn kind of way of being. Allow yourself to be seen as my wonderful guest veni Potter Stiebel demonstrated where he kind of allowed himself to be seen and then he was in his floor and found where he was meant to go. pollinate your dreams and go for what you wish in life as learnt by Debbie Cruz on my previous Podcast, episode two of this season, and for Episode one kind of work on building your connections but also kind of allowing yourself to heal and not hold on to things that no longer serve you, as demonstrated by Camilla Brinkworth in season 11 Episode one so this will amusements guests as examples because he's one of my last guests that run the show but there's many more guests that have rich examples. Many of them overcome dark nights of the soul and had a turning point but above all, enjoy the process. Stay present. Allow yourself to be uncomfortable at times go for your goals and dreams enjoying the journey along the way. So for today's meditation, I am going to play one of my favourite meditations that is on the end of a few other podcast episodes but the reason being is I love it so much because I recorded it live in I was very lucky, I had access to a private forests. And this forest was one of the most magical places that I've ever been. And I just feel like it's got such an uplifting, magical energy. As promised, here is your meditation, inspired by today's show Top Tips for the meditation is either sit nice and cross legged on the floor of a nice straight back, always, no sit on a block or a cushion, or that's not available for you, you sit in a chair with the back nice and straight. The important thing is you're not slouching. And if you're doing something that requires you concentration, all you need to do is just pause this and you can reconvene the meditation at a time that is good for you. If you're doing the meditation that's begin recorded live in a private forest. And I'm surrounded by birds. And you can hear the water from the brook and the little river behind me. So I'm going to take some slow, calm, deep breaths and just start to take some steps. By your imagination, you can also be in a forest with all its noises as you breathe slowly, calmly and deeply in this forest, you start to take a little journey. So you're walking slowly

Unknown Speaker  16:45  
on the ground and as you walk along in your imagination you know that change is made up of steps. Always done from a place of mindfulness as much as we can. Sometimes we have to dive in deep and sometimes we have to step in slow. But whatever we do life everything happens by making the first step. So what first steps can you make today? What changes perhaps, to slightly go outside one's comfort zone which isn't always what we want to do. However there's more discomfort in life by not making changes offer a good then by being in the comfort of unease. disease in the body is one way disease. So what small steps can you make today as you walk through this imaginary forest

Unknown Speaker  18:33  
sound of the feet on the ground the smell of the flowers, the wildflowers the rustle of the little creatures, the song of bird What is your song? What is your goal? What is your mission in life

Unknown Speaker  19:03  
the textures of the leafs the ground what can you show up today to do that might be slightly difficult discomfort in the long term will bring ease whatever that is for you the hearts as we come up with meditation as you inhale As you exhale, you begin to make a note of it. Of each day you can make a note of watch which step you can make towards that. It can be a little step. Sometimes it's a giant leap. Sometimes it's just a tiny micro step, but whatever it is, just step into your flow.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai